Lessons from the Frogs I've Kissed

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"Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I read the book in a day and about to start reading it again." DH

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Lessons from the frogs I've kissed- Paperback

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Many of us have been in romantic relationships which feel incredible in the beginning but end up in trauma, regret and despair. How do we stop ourselves from becoming locked in cycles of abuse? What are the unconscious dating patterns that underlie our romantic interactions? How do we know what we are looking for in a partner? And most importantly why do we need to learn to love ourselves first? Written with dashes of humour and cringe-worthy honesty, you will find Lessons from the Frogs I’ve Kissed to be an entertaining and powerful read, which will help you on your own personal journey of finding everlasting love and happiness.

My intention in writing Lessons from the Frogs I've Kissed is to take the reader on a heartfelt journey, sharing my own personal, sometimes very painful experiences I went through until meeting Mr Right. I hope my story will offer readers reflection and perspective, and that they find the content highly relatable and a useful yardstick to determine their own level of happiness within their relationships. I also hope that they become inspired to reach for "above-mediocre" and realise that true happiness is not a pipe-dream but highly possible, not just with regards to our relationships but fundamentally, within ourselves.
I certainly had to kiss a couple of frogs, endure a broken heart and experience a challenging divorce from my daughters' father, but I got there eventually. The story is written with honesty and straight from my heart but I have added dashes of humour to keep it light-hearted and enjoyable.

My name is Krystal Kolnik Herrera and I am a 43 years old, mother of two teenage daughters and am happily married to my 2nd husband

I am a successful Real Estate Agent in Cape Town, South Africa. I have been in that industry for 19 years and counting.

Writing my story has been an incredible journey. One day I sat down with my laptop and the next thing I knew my story just flowed out. It felt like it was being downloaded. I wrote every night for 4 months That was in 2014. The editing process has taken four years!

Why Did I Write This Book?

If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”   - Toni Morrison I have been asked many times WHY on Earth I decided to write a book, I mean who does that?? There is no short answer to that question, but I will begin by saying that when I was going through any one my many heartbreaks, or even at the beginning of one of my new relationships, I often scrambled in search of a book in which I could find hope, solace, advice, and basically reassurance that it was all going to be Ok, but that book didn’t exist.. until now. -Krystal Kolnik

Elevator Pitch

I think it’s safe to say that all the relationships I had before finding myself were co-dependent ones. But I had to learn that ultimately the greatest love of all is the love for oneself, and before reaching that point, I couldn't really expect anyone to genuinely love me. My story is filled with truisms and the kind of advice I would have liked to have read when I was going through any one of my break-ups...or honeymoon periods for that matter.

Intersting Characters

Be a fly on the wall, you will meet them all! Q. What does a dope addict, an abusive fisherman, a man still in love with his gay ex-wife, the eternal bachelor, he-who-made-me-the-centre-of-his-universe and a sexy Chilean all have in common? A. Me!

If you can imagine it, Krystal has experienced it. If you’ve ever wondered what an abusive relationship truly feels like, Krystal can tell you. If you’re curious as to what a true survivor looks like, take a good long look at Krystal–her life is a testament of dedication, overcoming the worst of the worst in relationships, and learning from one’s mistakes. When Krystal finds Pete, she believes she has found forever. She could never have foreseen that the world into which she would bring her children would be one in which their father would make their lives a living hell. Krystal Kolnik’s Lessons From Frogs I’ve Kissed is one of the most heart-wrenching stories of love and loss I have ever read. The strength it takes Krystal to simply live from day to day in the presence of such a dismissive and disloyal husband is completely stunning. As I read page after page filled with descriptions of her husband’s indiscretions and manic outbursts, my heart ached and I was filled with a rage of my own. Krystal’s willingness to open her heart and spill her experiences for the world to read is beyond admirable. More than that, her story resonates with both men and women across the globe. Abusive relationships of one type or another are, sadly, a common occurrence. Readers who are desperately seeking validation will see themselves mirrored in the way Krystal is drawn back to Pete time and time again as his hollow promises are broken one after another–so goes the life of a victim of domestic abuse. From Krystal’s own struggle to believe or not to believe Pete to her family and friends’ choice to conceal their own knowledge of Pete’s ongoing affairs, the author details each and every crushing blow before calmly describing the ease with which Pete is able to slide from his duties as a father and husband into the life he prefers as a sleazy cheater and abusive sociopath. Without having to present him as an actual character, Krystal succeeds in giving readers an antagonist worthy of all the hatred they can muster. Krystal details the day-to-day struggles of being a single parent wanting to date in today’s world. Her descriptions of her young daughter’s vision of her father are almost too much to bear. Her recollections of his tantrums and abuse make my stomach turn. Krystal and her children have lived through more than their share of hard days and deserve all the good times life now has to offer. Relationship after relationship, Krystal lays it all out on the line and goes for broke. Time after time, she is met with adversity. She does a wonderful job of making readers feel her pain and frustration–her descriptions of online dating are relatable in every way. This is easily one of the most engaging stories I have read in years. Krystal’s mistakes become her lessons and, in turn, become the reader’s as well. Were it not for authors like Krystal, many of us would continue to feel alone in our frustration and misery. Krystal opens the door for communication. For that, I am grateful.
Thomas: Litrary Titan |

This is one of the most honest, soul bearing and cringe worthy books I have ever read! It must have taken so much courage to write about your own experiences in love and brutally exposing yourself to the world. I think in today's digital world this book will come a a welcome nurturer and assist so many woman going through the same thing. (I am sure there are some lessons for the guys too!) At first it was hard to identify with the author as I myself had found my prince at age 19, and still happily married after 22 years together. But later I was cursing the men that brought out the worst in us and face-planting myself when the author shared some of the things she herself did. "Don't do it!" and "Get out of there" echoed in my home. The Lessons from the frogs she kissed is very relatable and also got me thinking, exploring and implementing strategies in my relationship for improved communication. Thank you for sharing your story with us! Do yourself a favour and spend some time with this great book!
Lindi Brougham-Cook
Estate Agent

Absolutely loved this book. Very well written. Easy to read. Many colourful characters. Great humour and insight to balance the more challenging parts. This book is a must read. It has the potential to help a lot of people navigate their way out of unhealthy relationship patterns.
Nina Bothma
Healer

A must read. I saw myself in many instances and could totally relate. This author has made herself vulnerable and she is honest, whilst giving us hope that we can grow and change. I couldn't stop reading it.
Glenis Inglesby Du Toit
PA/PRO at Helen Keller Society (NPO 000-253)

After not being able to find anything that caught my attention to read for years, I couldn’t put this book down. Krystal writes from her heart and I really felt her journey towards true love. An intriguing book that gives one hope.
Tamara Vos Kingma
Self - Employed

A highly recommended read, written by a very Bold, Beautiful and Brave Author. I applaud her for sharing her personal journey of Life and Love in the wrong Lane, which so many of us can relate to. This book definitely takes you on a rollercoaster of Life's emotions, therefore making it a very interesting and Heartfelt Book. On completion of the book, I must say that it was very inspiring, and also a lesson learnt of how never to give up on Self-Worth and True Love.
Jessica Chand
Self - Employed

I can certainly relate to many of the life's lessons learned in this book and found myself squirming a bit as I relived them again. There were also a few moments of shouting out to the four walls "no man, don't be so silly" or "Sheesh, I'm going to have to smack that guy next time I come across him". Heartfelt and brutally honest, touching on some very sensitive areas, hopefully many women, and men, will learn from these stories and be able to avoid making the mistakes themselves. Look forward to more stories from this author
Tarryn van Wyk
Pilot and Quality Manager at FlyH2 Aerospace

What a wonderfully entertaining and insightful read. The characters are written with such care and depth and I couldn't help but see the similarities in my own journey. Krystal tells her story with such refreshing honesty in a relaxed, often very amusing and easy to read way. The story grips you from the beginning and keeps your interest piqued right up until the end. Well done Krystal, this book is fantastic. Everyone should read it! 👏👏👏
Shakira Abrahams
Journalist

The entire book was gripping! I could relate to so many of the same situations I too found myself in throughout my adult life. Fantastic read! Well done Krystal!
Elaine Fourie

December 22 at 8:57 AM · It’s been a long time since I’ve read a book with such honesty that comes from deep inside. This book is one you can relate to and leaves you really looking at your own choices you’ve made. I couldn’t put it down, you just want that happy ending to come with each frog that comes along. A lovely honest and down to earth book that’s definitely worth a read.
Angela Coates Punnett